I really enjoyed this story and it made me think twice about my approach. I would have hung up as I refuse to deal with assholes. But I suspect if it were my deal, it wouldn’t have gotten done.
My mental health would’ve been better if I just hung up, for sure!
Although, to be honest, the deal likely still would’ve been done. They hired the banker to apply as much pressure as possible, without killing the deal. If I had just hung up, perhaps he would have realized he was applying too much pressure?
This resonated deeply. For a long time, I mistook suppression for professionalism. If something said or done to me affected my focus or engagement, I'd tell myself to 'grow up', 'move on', 'be professional.'
It took me much longer than I'd like to admit to recognize that wasn't maturity. That was just suppression with better branding
Man I felt this story Joseph. I am one of those overachievers you mention, who figures out the system and how to succeed in it. It's how I had a successful career. It's also how I needed 2.5 years to recover from the burnout of doing that for 25 years straight.
I loved this line "I’m good at turning almost anything into another way to perform, including self‑care."
I do this all the time. Tracking steps, heart rate zone minutes, how many times a week I stretch.... It's a fine balance between motivation and obsession.
I have to be very careful with this thing called Substack. It will suck all my time if I am not careful.
I removed it from my phone 3 months ago. That was a good step.
I turned off paid on my personal stack. That is another. It let me breath.
But Code Like A Girl. It is gaining momentum and I have thought a lot this week about how I am going to manage it, manage my drive to succeed, and not burnout again.
Also thanks so much for highlighting my developer story!
LOL. I track all fitness, sleep, ect with my whoop. Has postivies and negatives. I can see when I am getting fitter with lower heart rate and higher V02Max and that is motivating. But I can also get obsessed with hitting the numbers every week.
Cool, I haven’t tried whoop. I use a Garmin and Oura, but have to take them off during kungfu. I’ve found my fitness age is my addictive metric - satisfying but also an inevitability losing battle
Oh. They have that on whoop too and it is an addictive metric for sure. It has multiple factors to it that have pushed me to change them in a positive way. I did burn out on trying to hit all the metrics in December and took time off in the winter.
It’s hard when the right thing to do is rest and watch the metrics fall though. That’s what is happening now with my bruised ribs.
I really enjoyed this story and it made me think twice about my approach. I would have hung up as I refuse to deal with assholes. But I suspect if it were my deal, it wouldn’t have gotten done.
My mental health would’ve been better if I just hung up, for sure!
Although, to be honest, the deal likely still would’ve been done. They hired the banker to apply as much pressure as possible, without killing the deal. If I had just hung up, perhaps he would have realized he was applying too much pressure?
This resonated deeply. For a long time, I mistook suppression for professionalism. If something said or done to me affected my focus or engagement, I'd tell myself to 'grow up', 'move on', 'be professional.'
It took me much longer than I'd like to admit to recognize that wasn't maturity. That was just suppression with better branding
I love that phrasing - “suppression with better branding”. So accurate!!
Thanks for reading! I’m glad it resonated
Man I felt this story Joseph. I am one of those overachievers you mention, who figures out the system and how to succeed in it. It's how I had a successful career. It's also how I needed 2.5 years to recover from the burnout of doing that for 25 years straight.
I loved this line "I’m good at turning almost anything into another way to perform, including self‑care."
I do this all the time. Tracking steps, heart rate zone minutes, how many times a week I stretch.... It's a fine balance between motivation and obsession.
I have to be very careful with this thing called Substack. It will suck all my time if I am not careful.
I removed it from my phone 3 months ago. That was a good step.
I turned off paid on my personal stack. That is another. It let me breath.
But Code Like A Girl. It is gaining momentum and I have thought a lot this week about how I am going to manage it, manage my drive to succeed, and not burnout again.
Also thanks so much for highlighting my developer story!
It *is* such a fine balance! And I’m struggling to not ask how you track your stretches… 😅 We are so often our own worst enemies.
Regardless, congrats on all the success with Code Like a Girl! That must be immensely satisfying, even as it challenges boundaries.
LOL. I track all fitness, sleep, ect with my whoop. Has postivies and negatives. I can see when I am getting fitter with lower heart rate and higher V02Max and that is motivating. But I can also get obsessed with hitting the numbers every week.
Cool, I haven’t tried whoop. I use a Garmin and Oura, but have to take them off during kungfu. I’ve found my fitness age is my addictive metric - satisfying but also an inevitability losing battle
Oh. They have that on whoop too and it is an addictive metric for sure. It has multiple factors to it that have pushed me to change them in a positive way. I did burn out on trying to hit all the metrics in December and took time off in the winter.
It’s hard when the right thing to do is rest and watch the metrics fall though. That’s what is happening now with my bruised ribs.
Ouch! Bruised ribs are limiting. Hope the recovery is swift and smooth!
Ya it happened 2 weeks ago. So we have made some recovery success. But still quite sore.
Another good read in the books 👌🙏 thank you 🙏
Thank you for reading!