The “culture add” idea matters more than people realize. Fit keeps things comfortable. Add makes things better. In my experience, sometimes being slightly outside the norm is what makes you more relatable. Happy Thursday Joseph!
Wow - the culture add is a huge thing. I’ve been a part of enough ‘we’re like family’ cultures to know what that really signals - they’re all alike. And if you’re gonna fit in, you need to be like them, too. I’m adding this phrase to my growing list of interview questions.
As a lifelong contrarian thinker, I’ve learned to not ‘should’ on myself. I’m aware what I bring so others can take it or leave it. I want to be somewhere that my slightly introverted self can be appreciated instead of looked down on as a non-team player. Or that my indifference to great swag isn’t a personality flaw. Or that my preference to work solo isn’t a move to silo information.
Ugh don’t get me started on the “family” metaphor. Most toxic stuff ever.
Love the swag example - I can totally see how that could be misread as being disengaged! I’m adding that to my list of items for preemptive air clearing. Simply giving people permission to decline expectations can make those dynamics so much easier - this is a golden one!
I've had to defend myself so many times regarding swag of all things. Them: "why do you hate swag so much?" Me: "I don't hate it. There's only so many Yeti mugs and cool backpacks a person needs."
I’ve always found that carrying people along a personal journey is hard, painful, messy work. Maybe that’s why it’s so freeing? Pls never change (or more fairly, always be you!). Sharing and acceptance are the only antidotes to close mindedness and isolation. I love your bravery and courage and am inspired by you, always 💗
Thanks for sharing, I loved reading this. The whole “should” mentality can. E so damaging for relationships and mental health. I haven’t come across the saying “don’t should yourself” and will definitely check out the link you shared. What I have come across, that is very closely related, is Non Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg, whose entire philosophy also reframes the idea of “should. It has been a game changer as well.
Your experience with managing image and being self-conscious resonates a lot with my experiences, albeit in different scenarios. It is a pity how much we think about how we appear to others and what they might think of us. In fact I’m still cringing about some things I’ve said on the recent trip! Your post has reminded me that being different or loud may not be so bad.
By the way, I’ve been relishing your outfits. I love the colours and the styles.
The “culture add” idea matters more than people realize. Fit keeps things comfortable. Add makes things better. In my experience, sometimes being slightly outside the norm is what makes you more relatable. Happy Thursday Joseph!
Totally agree - it also acts as a clear signal to the team, on how we did things more broadly. Helped anchor a culture of inclusion across the board.
Wow - the culture add is a huge thing. I’ve been a part of enough ‘we’re like family’ cultures to know what that really signals - they’re all alike. And if you’re gonna fit in, you need to be like them, too. I’m adding this phrase to my growing list of interview questions.
As a lifelong contrarian thinker, I’ve learned to not ‘should’ on myself. I’m aware what I bring so others can take it or leave it. I want to be somewhere that my slightly introverted self can be appreciated instead of looked down on as a non-team player. Or that my indifference to great swag isn’t a personality flaw. Or that my preference to work solo isn’t a move to silo information.
Loved this post!
Ugh don’t get me started on the “family” metaphor. Most toxic stuff ever.
Love the swag example - I can totally see how that could be misread as being disengaged! I’m adding that to my list of items for preemptive air clearing. Simply giving people permission to decline expectations can make those dynamics so much easier - this is a golden one!
I've had to defend myself so many times regarding swag of all things. Them: "why do you hate swag so much?" Me: "I don't hate it. There's only so many Yeti mugs and cool backpacks a person needs."
I’ve always found that carrying people along a personal journey is hard, painful, messy work. Maybe that’s why it’s so freeing? Pls never change (or more fairly, always be you!). Sharing and acceptance are the only antidotes to close mindedness and isolation. I love your bravery and courage and am inspired by you, always 💗
Thanks Donna - that means a lot from you! :)
You set the bar high for carrying people along a personal journey, and I learn from you constantly. Thank you!
Good for you for getting out of your comfort zone in all aspects, dancing and social media.
FWIW the class was a 100% would recommend :) Still not sure about posting though 😅
I don’t think less of you. More actually. Just be who you are no matter the platform.
Thanks for sharing, I loved reading this. The whole “should” mentality can. E so damaging for relationships and mental health. I haven’t come across the saying “don’t should yourself” and will definitely check out the link you shared. What I have come across, that is very closely related, is Non Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg, whose entire philosophy also reframes the idea of “should. It has been a game changer as well.
Your experience with managing image and being self-conscious resonates a lot with my experiences, albeit in different scenarios. It is a pity how much we think about how we appear to others and what they might think of us. In fact I’m still cringing about some things I’ve said on the recent trip! Your post has reminded me that being different or loud may not be so bad.
By the way, I’ve been relishing your outfits. I love the colours and the styles.
Keep writing!!
Totally agreed on the risk of damage - Xiaopu deserves so much credit for helping us both get better at that.
Also thanks so much for the recommendation - I hadn’t heard about Marshall Rosenberg’s work - looking into it!
Let me know what you think!